Food porn

If this is food porn, Taste Test (A.V. Club) is food porn for S&M enthusiasts. As my good friends already know, the A.V. Club is a favorite site of mine, and in the spirit of making everyone in the world more like me (ya know, for their own good), I thought I'd pass this along. Taste Test is a feature, done once a week, I think, where the A.V. Club staff (usually interns) eat weird things and then talk about them. There is video, there is transcription, it's pretty funny, and will introduce you to things you will then wish you had never been introduced to.

Enjoy!

Kribs

When the Moon Hits Your Eye...

Oh my sweet, gentle readers, 14 hours later I can still taste the fresh, juicy tomatoes, feel the crunch of the bell peppers, smell the freshly toasted garlic, see the wonderfully browned tops of the one day old mozzarella, and, and, um, hear the olives, shaking in their aluminum can. You see, friends, last night, I stole Peter's idea, and Rachel and I made Pizza.

OH it was glorious! It was fresh, it was flavorful, it was easy and it was fun, but most of all, it was Peter's idea, and I stole it.

Before launching into the recipe (which, I know, is not the general practice in this space), a little background. Sunday began as all Sunday's do, Cafe Pettirosso and a Crossword, duly dispatched. Sitting around and shooting the breeze about the day's possibilities, the topic of the Ballard Farmer's Market was breached. Never mind that I had shot down that possibility when it was earlier mentioned, we were off.

The very first booth of interest was a cheese booth (surprise, surprise, there are probably 17 cheese booths at the Ballard Farmer's Market), where Rachel and I picked out a Cow's Milk cheese which was a bit pungent and very good, and then grabbed a tub of Mozzarella, which the woman behind the counter duly informed us was yesterday's milk, which was pretty exciting to hear.

We went in search of produce, but (it being winter and all) were unable to do better than beets, turnips, carrots, etc. which I vetoed on the grounds that I don't like beets, I don't like turnips, and we never use our carrots anyway. It was around this time that Pedro mentioned an interest in making Pizza that night. Now, normally I shy away from the labor intensive practice that is baking, especially seeing as I still work in a bakery, and don't particularly enjoy it. But for whatever reason, I had been thinking about baking that very day, cookies, bread, something, so Pizza piqued my interest. Long story short (I know, I know), rather than share my mozzarella with Peter, I stole his idea instead.

{+} K and R's Italian Love Fest

Rachel and Andrew's Sauceless Pizza
serves 4, or 2 with leftovers.

The pizza dough recipe I cannot take credit for and neither can Rachel. We pulled it from that oh so useful of Kitchen Resources: The Joy of Cooking. Rather than reproduce it here, I'll just give you a link. The only variation we made, not being comfortable enough with the process to experiment a lot, was to toss some thyme and some snipped chives into the dough, just to add something interesting. I'm not sure you could taste them, so next time we'll add more. anyway, here are some dough pictures.

Rachel's dough turned out much better than mine, possibly because we let it sit for a little longer after having risen and been separated (the state the dough is in below), or possibly because she is less of a screw-up than I am (show of hands on which is more likely....). At any rate, her experience as a pizza girl at a small town grocery store in rural Michigan helped her infinitely in making a nice, round basis for her pizza. Below right.

As is implied above, this is a sauceless Pizza, meaning we were way too lazy to make a tomato sauce, and way too stuck up to buy a prefabricated one, so we just chopped and chopped and chopped our little hearts out. There's no point listing our ingredients, because there's no reason not to use whatever you want on your pizza, but I'll list them anyway, then show you some pictures of chopping, some pictures of pre and post-baked pizzas, and some pictures of what a cute, classy, little Italian couple we are.

2 whole tomatoes, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 can olives, sliced
1/2 each of red, yellow, orange and green bell peppers, chopped
3 scallions, chopped
1 ball super-fresh mozzarella, sliced
6 or 7 mushrooms, chopped
1/2 a white onion, chopped

when you do all that chopping you will have this:
So after coating the dough with olive oil, just add as much or as little as you want to add, as artfully or haphazardly as you want to add it, and throw it in the oven at 475 for 12 minutes. If you live in an incredibly small apartment, like we do, a 475 degree oven will set off the fire alarm every time you open it, so be prepared for that. We only baked one at a time, because that's all we could fit on the bottom rack of our oven, these are 12" Pizzas, nothing to shake a stick at, but you could probably finagle it such that you baked them simultaneously. We knew we weren't going to eat both in one night, so it was no biggie.

Serve with bread, olive oil and balsamic, with some red pepper flakes and thyme, pour some deep glasses of Chianti, and you are in for an adorable provincial Italian date meal.

oh friends, that's amore.

Kribs

PS: terribly sorry to steal your proverbial thunder, Pedro, but I have a feeling your spirit of one-up-manship will see you though, no?

Chicken Curry(the whatever'sinthekitchen version)

Hi-ho there strangers. This is a second attempt at what was once the greatest debut Seatfood blog post in the (albeit brief) history of the blogosphere. Once upon about a month ago Kribs sat at his computer, in his comfy green chair, having just supped upon a lovely, lovingly improvised Chicken Curry dinner, which he and his loving girlfriend had made that very evening. Rather than his usual Internet diversions, Kribs thought to himself "Kribs, you lazy sack, write it up for the foodblog before you forget what you put in it!" Knowing good sense when he heard it, Kribs set to the task of composing a deliciously clever write-up of his cleverly delicious meal. Long story short ("too late" you say?, "fuck you" I say"), I wrote it, lost it, swore, slammed my laptop shut, and never thought about it again.

Along comes Saturday afternoon, the little lady is darning some sweaters, Bruce is covering Woody on the turntable, and I felt like writing something.

This, like all good dishes, is a meal in which just about all of the ingredients can be substituted for whatever you have lying around the pantry or for whatever your dietary preferences may be. I, unlike certain other members of this posting community, am not a vegetarian, so I threw some bird in there, but there's no reason not to do it with Tofu if that suits your fancy.

{+} Chicken Curry

Chicken Curry
For Two (or Four if you don't know how to eat)

Two boneless, skinless chicken breasts
Salt
Pepper
Tony's Cajun Seasoning
2 Tsp Curry Powder
Cayenne Pepper
2 cloves garlic, chopped
A couple carrots, coined
A tomato or 2, chopped
A Chili pepper of some kind, diced
1 pint Vegetable Broth
Some Oil
A little flour or cornstarch

The first thing you do, after rinsing off and patting dry the chicken, is beat it up a little bit, either with a frying pan or, if you're a purist, a mallet. Try to get the breast about an inch thick or so, just so it cooks nice and even (and a little quicker). Next, on a plate, sprinkle some flour (or cornstarch) and add most of your seasonings, this means pepper for sure, Tony's because it's a wonderful shortcut to flavor, salt, a little bit of your curry powder, some cayenne (all of this depends on how spicy you like your curry). Drop a chicken breast on this plate, so both sides are evenly coated in your rub, then do the same to the other breast, replenishing what's on your plate if necessary.

I started cooking this meal the way I believe every meal cooked in a frying pan (with the possible exception of pancakes) ought to start: enough oil to coat the bottom of the pan pretty liberally, and your chopped garlic, on medium heat. If you're gonna add onions and chili peppers (never a bad idea with curries) this is a good time to throw them in too. Let your garlic get gold and add your carrots and any other firm veggies (cauliflower, broccoli, peas, scallions, bell peppers are all great ideas) and the vegetable broth and curry powder. If you like a thicker sauce, you should leave this uncovered and let it reduce a little, or to shortcut add some cornstarch. we did neither. Throw the chicken in, up the heat, cover, and cook till the chicken is cooked through (10 min, maybe a little more), and add your tomatoes for the finish.

We served it over Basmati, not for any particular drive at authenticity but because, going with the theme here, it was what was lying around.

Anyway, Tofu for chicken makes this vegetarian, Cauliflower or Potatoes makes it a little heartier, an extra chili makes it a little spicier, and coconut milk makes it a good deal thicker. No pictures, because I don't have a DSLR and a 700,00 Watt bulb above my kitchen table, so they didn't come out so good.

love,
Kribs